Someone who is single might see this and chuckle. I don't think they are really going to compare themselves to Charles Manson. But what about the more "normal" people in our lives? "Sarah" got married, so why am I having so much trouble? Am I too picky? Am I just simply unattractive as a person? "Jennifer" just got engaged and she is super annoying. So why not me?
Is there something wrong with me?
The short answer is no. There is nothing wrong with you.
The problem with joking about something like this is that it will resonate with someone. This is another area that I think the devil likes to use to attack singles. That little nagging voice saying you're not attractive enough, you're not smart enough, you're not likeable, you're too smart, etc. No one would ever want to be with you. And that's why you are alone.
That's a lie.
These feelings can be magnified around the holidays. Suddenly it seems like everyone is getting engaged or is blissfully happy. I know. I've been there.
If you feel yourself going down this path, take a moment to look at yourself in the mirror. Tell yourself that you are pretty awesome. And the fact that you are single does not take away from this. Tell yourself that all those thoughts about how you don't measure up are lies from the devil.
The truth is that it doesn't really make sense how people fall in love. There is no scientific equation for falling in love (sorry Eharmony). It's kind of a miracle that anyone ever decides to spend their lives together.
There is a young woman named Jenni who writes a blog called, "He Was Fine." She wrote a post last month about her response to the question, "Why are you still single?" She has some really good thoughts. Basically, she says she is single because she chooses to be single. Now before you get all up in arms, what she means is that if all she cared about was not being single, she could be in a relationship right now. (Side note - My mom would always say this to me. If I complained because "Sarah" or "Julie" was married, she would say, well would you want to marry her husband? Well, no. Point for Mom.)
But Jenni doesn't want to be in a relationship just for the sake of not being alone.
How many people can say that? I'm more willing to be alone than dating someone just because. From my experience, not many people do.
Jenni goes on to give some more reasons why she is single. For anyone going home for the holidays, I would definitely recommend reading her list and using it to make your own. That way, when you are asked the seemingly inevitable self-esteem destroying question, you will be ready with an answer. But remember, the people asking this question care about you. That's why they are asking. So try to cut them some slack.
For those of you who are not single, maybe try skipping this question this year. Instead, ask your single friends/family members about what's going on in their lives, what they are excited about for the next year, and what interesting things they are doing. You might discover some pretty awesome people out there.
Just remember - it's not a bad thing if someone is single. And there is nothing wrong with them.