8. No compromising
I don't have to compromise on things like whose church to attend, or which social functions to go to, or whose friends to spend time with. It's my church, my schedule, my friends.
Basically, I get to make all of the decisions, all of the time.
9. Sharing? What’s that?
I don't have to share the covers, ever. In fact, I don't have to share anything, ever.
10. Temperature Control
Speaking of which, I keep the temperature where I want it. Always.
Unless you are like me, and your downstairs neighbor controls the temperature . . .
11. Being the Favorite Child at Holidays
My siblings are both married, so they often either split holidays between their families or miss them entirely. Of course my parents wish that everyone was there for every holiday, but it just isn’t possible. So once the grandkids leave, I become the favorite. No other family has a claim on my time, so I’m there for the entire day, every holiday.
What’s that, Mom? The sibs can’t make it to Thanksgiving? And they have to leave halfway through Easter? Don’t worry Mom, I’ll be there the whole time. You always have me.
*I know that not everyone has a great family and that holidays can be really hard for Singles. I'm sorry if that's you. Please try not to throw tomatoes at me (figurative or literal).
12. Quality time Alone with my Parents
When you think about it, how often are my siblings alone with my parents? It’s rather rare these days. Either a spouse, kids, or a relative is always around. But when all the crazy people leave, I get to spend a lot of time alone with my parents. And that’s pretty awesome. So whether I’m having blood pressure contests or nudging both my parents awake as we watch Stargate or White Collar, I appreciate that special time with them.
13. Kids without the Responsibility
I have three nieces and one nephew that I love very much. I get to do fun things with them, goof off, have a blast, and hand them back to their parents when they get too cranky/sick/misbehaved/upset. Awesome.
Speaking of kids . . . . . I get to sleep. More specifically, I get to sleep IN on weekends.
If I don't get enough sleep, it's because it was my choice. If I am woken up at a ridiculously early hour, it's because of a loud moth in my room or the unpleasant sensation of a wasp sting. Not because mini-me's are jumping on my bed, wanting breakfast.
I have one. I hate shopping, but like to have new things. So it's nice that I get to spend money on clothes for myself.
16. I know who I am
When you are alone, you learn who you are. You don't have anyone to hide behind. I have so many friends who were/are serial daters because they were afraid of being alone. I am comfortable with myself and the person that I am.
Focus the Lens of Your Heart.
I wanted to end with some wise words from Heidi. She wrote this to me when she sent me her list and I thought was worth sharing.
As I was thinking about it just now, I realized that, even though each of these things has a completely opposite point of why it's really NOT a good part of being single (i.e., no one to share the chores with, no one who wants me to come home and spend time with them, no one to build a life of compromise and love and service with), it's all in your perspective. If we don't take time to focus on the good parts ... "focus the lens of my heart" is the phrase I came up with ... we'll go crazy thinking about all the things we lack, which is of course is our temptation all the time.
Our lives are complex; none of these things are entirely positive or entirely negative when it comes to experiencing them as single people. It's a choice to live and remind ourselves and try to believe as though these are good things about being single, even when we're tempted to dwell on what it is that we're lacking.